DAR ES SALAAM: IN Tanzania, Valentine’s Day is increasingly visible in streets, shopping malls, social media and entertainment spaces.
While promoted as a celebration of love, the day has taken on a commercial and social pressure that exposes deep gender inequalities and, in some cases, fuels violence against women, children and even poor men.
The modern Valentine’s celebration often equates love with money expensive gifts, hotel outings, alcohol, and public displays of romance. In a country where many young people struggle with unemployment and low incomes, these expectations create harmful pressures.
For women and girls, love is frequently framed as something to be “earned” or proven, sometimes through sex or submission. This has contributed to increased risks of sexual exploitation, early pregnancies, coercion, and gender-based violence, particularly among adolescents.
Reports from civil society organisations and community leaders show that periods around Valentine’s Day can coincide with increased cases of sexual abuse, transactional sex and exploitation of minors. Young girls may be targeted with gifts or promises of affection, exposing them to long-term physical and psychological harm.
This reality sharply contradicts national commitments to child protection and gender equality. At the same time, Valentine’s Day also places pressure on poor men.
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Social norms often define masculinity through the ability to provide materially. Men who cannot afford gifts or celebrations may experience shame, ridicule, or relationship conflict. In some cases, frustration, alcohol use, and unmet expectations escalate into emotional or physical violence within relationships.
Poverty and inequality thus interact with harmful gender norms, affecting both women and men in destructive ways. Rather than strengthening relationships, the commercialisation of love reinforces unequal power relations: Women are expected to receive, men are expected to provide, and children are left unprotected. Love becomes transactional instead of respectful and caring.
This calls for a rethinking of how Valentine’s Day is understood in our societies. Love should be rooted in mutual respect, consent, care, and shared responsibility not money or pressure. Media, parents, educators, faith institutions, and policymakers have a role to play in challenging harmful narratives and promoting gender equitable expressions of love. True love cannot exist where there is violence, coercion, or exclusion.
As Tanzania continues to advance gender equality and child protection, Valentine’s Day should reflect these values protecting women and children, while also freeing men from unrealistic and damaging expectations.