DAR ES SALAAM: ALL is not well within some political parties in the country, as the news covered in one of the Dailies, and titled: “Opposition Party axes ‘leadership’ in post-election upheaval”, confirms.
The story unfolds in the opening paragraph as follows: “Upheaval is building up in the opposition Chauma, whose top decision-making body has ‘removed’ secretary general Salum Mwalimu amid accusations of misconduct” (Custodian 2 July, page2) Did the party axe “leadership” as the headline suggests?
Well, well! Leadership is an abstract noun, referring to the position of being in charge, the ability to guide and influence others, or the COLLECTIVE GROUP of individuals directing an organisation. The party ousted just one leader, not the entire leadership.
To reflect this, I would change the headline into: “Opposition Party axes ‘top leader’ in post-election upheaval”. The opening paragraph also needs some rectification here and there. For example, we need to know, from what has the secretary general been removed. He could have been removed from a house he was occupying illegally.
He could have been removed from a committee on which he was a member. To avoid speculation on the part of readers, it should be clearly stated that Mwalimu has been removed from that top party position of secretary general.
Also to just say “opposition Chauma” assumes that the reader knows that Chauma is a political party. A revised version of the opening paragraph is as follows: “Upheaval is building up in the opposition political party, Chauma, whose top decision-making body has ‘removed’ secretary general Salum Mwalimu from that top party executive position, amid accusations of misconduct”. What happened after this purge?
The writer continues to narrate: “The committee appointed deputy secretary general (Mainland), BK, as acting secretary general, ‘with the decision was reached’ during a six-hour extraordinary session of the 31-member executive committee ‘at party’s’ national headquarters in Dar es Salaam”. This narration needs amendments as well.
“The committee appointed deputy secretary general (Mainland), BK, as acting secretary general, ‘after a decision was reached’ during a six-hour extraordinary session of the 31-member executive committee, ‘at the Party’s’ national headquarters in Dar es Salaam”. The national chairman of Chauma Party is the veteran politician, Hashim Rungwe, popularly known as Mzee wa Ubwabwa. Hopefully, he can use his wisdom to rescue the party from internal strife.
We make a quick tour to Uganda, where a number of actions attributed to the Chief Army Officer of that country are raising world-wide concern. In one case a 73-year-old veteran human rights activist was brought to court but denied bail. According to the writer of the story: “The court’s decision ‘has drew’ an emotional response from onlookers and civil society defenders present”.
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Do we need to clarify this? That “has drew” is wrong? Let us just re-write the sentence: “The court’s decision ‘drew’ an emotional response from observers and civil society defenders present”. We turn to page 5 of the Custodian (2 July) where we find a colourful photograph of an official activity being undertaken.
The caption tells it all: “Chunya District Commissioner MB, cuts ‘the’ ribbon ‘to’ earlier this week to launch a maternal and child nutrition project being implemented in five regions to help reduce maternal and child mortality.
Looking on are officials from the Health ministry, UNICEF and the Tanzania Food and Nutrition Centre” There are issues with “the” and “to”; but I am also concerned that the phrase: “maternal and child” is used twice in the caption.
I am all for a re-write: “Chunya District Commissioner, MB, cuts ‘a’ ribbon earlier this week to launch a nutrition project being implemented in five regions to help reduce maternal and child mortality.
Looking on are officials from the Ministry of Health, UNICEF and the Tanzania Food and Nutrition Centre” Goodbye June, Welcome July. Half of the year gone! lusuggakironde@gmail.com.